Puke Thief's Tails and Trails

Man oh man oh man, last Sunday was AWESOME! Trail went on forever, it was something like 63 weiner dog miles. I got caught up in some brambles again and Dad had to take my leash off to untangle it. When a thorn or burr gets in my paw I just stop and look at Dad, Dad takes it out and all is well again. At the end of the trail, Dad wrapped me in a towel and put me in a suitcase. It was nice and warm so I fell asleep right away - Dad even brought me some orange food - I love the end of the trail almost as much as the trail itself. I slept for two days straight after that trail, too tired to even lick my own butthole!

This week has been pretty slow, Mom's been so busy that she doesn't play with me and Dad has been going out a lot - wish I could come with. I don't bite people, but if I did, I could bite anybody's butt. I jump really high. I can jump on to the tallest beds and even over baby gates. I hurt my back once, though, so I've been more cautious. I want to be the fastest weiner dog ever, that's a picture of me when I ran in the Buda Weiner Dog Races coming out of gate two - I won this heat! Too bad Dad didn't have time to go back the next day. I can't wait until Sunday.

Man, I AM SOOO BORED! We did a double walk last Sunday, but haven't done anything since then. Dad came back from the Hash and told me it was a good thing I wasn't there. I don't agree. I'm ready to tear something up! I know what my parents do when they leave - they go play with other dogs, go for long walks, pee on trees... ooh they make me so mad! Every time I see Dad, I think we're going on a walk. He just pats my head and starts making dinner - without dropping food on the floor. He'll occasionally drop an ice cube, and that's a good start, but if he could be more like Mom, I sure would like it. I stopped trying to get my Dad to give me food when he started giving me these strange green balls. The inside is really tasty, but the outside makes me sneeze and it burns my tongue. I think Dad called it "wasaaaabi peeenuts" or something like that. Dad's telling me that next Sunday will be fun, hopefully I'll get to go out again soon.

Dad got home late tonight - he smelled funky! I loved it! Mom made him take a shower. Dad's got some great scratches on his legs that I just love to lick. Mom was upstairs writing emails so I got a great chance to lick them when he came upstairs. Another 'poof'' came out of my butt while I was licking and again they laughed and waved their paws at me. I can't wait until the next hash. Dad smells like flowers when he gets out of the shower.

Went hashing with my Dad on Sunday - so many briars! Dad kept on getting mad when I'd pull him into more briars, but he liked it when I helped pull him up muddy hills. There was this crazy lady on trail who kept on crying, but we just kept on trucking! What usually keeps me going are the goodies at the end. Dad calls it the On-In. I was a good dog and got my first peanut butter and banana sandwich at the end. I was really tired when we got back home. It felt really good to curl up on the couch and sleep! Sometimes when I'm just hanging out and doing nothing a strange noise will come out of my butt. Dad and Mom laugh and fan me when it happens. I love my parents.